AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
