Nicole vs. Life
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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