i think my mom watched the whole time
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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