ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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