Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
