I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
