i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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