Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
