Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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