It's like a parade of train wrecks.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
