i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
