This is not my ceiling
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
