I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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