just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize