i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
