been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
