Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
