He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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