I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
