i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize