i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
