WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
