the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
