there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
