i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
