I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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