im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize