Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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