his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize