Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
