Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
