don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
