worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
