Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I love you. Go after that dick
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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