Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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