are you still at the devil's house?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize