So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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