So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
