Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
