you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
