if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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