Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
