I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
