She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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