please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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