Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize