alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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