He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
