How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
