i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
