Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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