i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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