What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
