U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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