i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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