if i died would you start the facebook group?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
