Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
